Biography

An unusual life story full strange circumstances and bizarre episodes that has culminated in the realization that a persons ultimate identity is God and the recognition that the predictions of the Prophecies contained in the Worlds Great Religions are manifesting in present times. Also a summary of the key events which led me to recognizing my purpose in life.

There follows an outline sketch of my life so far. It is intended to give the reader a rough idea of the path my life has taken. I have provided some details about my childhood and adolescence which I think relevant for understanding what would come later on. A few particularly formative phases or experiences in my life are described in some detail, whereas many other important life changing episodes are mentioned only in passing. Some of these significant aspects of my past and also certain key mystical experiences are related more fully in other sections of this website. A more systematic and thorough account of my life is in the works and will form an interwoven part of my upcoming book due out mid 2008.

My Early Years

Starting my biography right from the beginning, I was conceived and became an embryo in London. My Mother and Father were migrant workers, living and working there at the time. Nine months later I was born in Hong Kong on the 16th of October 1969. I spent the first two years of my life there and then immigrated to the United Kingdom with the rest of my Family.

My earliest memories as a small child were in Clacton on Sea, on the South Eastern coast of England. I lived there for a year or so with my Mother and Father, Grandmother and two older Brothers. We all shared the downstairs section of a normal semi-detached house so things were a bit cramped but life was happy enough. My family didn't have very much money and my Father worked as a waiter in a restaurant owned by a relative. Most of what my Father earned was saved in order to open up a fast food outlet in the future. These were the main aspirations of my Parents at the time, a business of their own and a better life for their children. Life in Clacton was good and I was a happy infant. When I was about four years old we moved again, this time to Ipswich which is in East Anglia. It was here that I would be staying until leaving home.

Ipswich is a small quiet town which is famous for nothing except for the fact that the town's football team won a major tournament in 1978 called the FA cup . The only other two things worth mentioning is that the 80s pop star Nick Kershaw came from there and also the legendary producer and musician Brian Eno almost came from Ipswich, that is he came from an even smaller town just a few miles away called Woodbridge.

My family opened up a Chinese fast food restaurant and initially we lived in the apartments above the shop. Life was much better now. We had more money coming in and much more living space. The rest of my pre-school years was a happy time of play and discovery of my immediate surroundings.

Childhood & Pre-teens

The start of my time in primary school was generally happy, but early on I had a handicap which was that I couldn't speak english. However this problem seemed to be overcome very quickly. After I could converse with the people around me I remember I would talk a lot and very loudly, often being sent out of the class by the teacher. But I could also flip to the other extreme to become reflective and much less talkative. This was a trait I would retain into my adult life. As I progressed through infant school I had a very easy time of things. I was good at most topics and learned things quickly. I was a popular child with the other children and also with the teachers as well.

Some distinct influences on my life at around this time were the film Star Wars and the TV series Cosmos by the scientist Carl Sagan. Star Wars really got me very excited generally and watching Cosmos on TV really helped encourage an interest in science. But really the biggest two influences on my life at this formative stage were my two Brothers Kin Ming and Wai Fai, who were eight years and four years older than me respectively. I mention this because the age difference between me and them meant that at an early age I absorbed a lot of information and culture that was more appropriate for someone of greater maturity. I believe this gave me an accelerated development. I watched the same TV programs that they did, listened to the same music as them and also read their books and comics. Perhaps this also meant I was exposed to material not entirely suitable for a junior. I remember watching 70s TV documentaries about the ills of the world and recall the chilling and fearful effect that they had on me.

So as a result of this exposure to adult media my eyes were opened very early on to the dark side of life. In retrospect this hasn't necessarily been a bad thing. I remember seeing the pictures in a book about a Nazi concentration camp and also the 70s TV mini series Holocaust. This together with documentaries about War, social problems, the nuclear stand off at the time and illnesses like rabies; were probably instrumental in developing a mindset that somehow the purpose of my life was to make the world a better and more secure place. The angst today that I feel as an adult when I think about what's happening in the world is the same angst I felt back then as a child. But anyway, continuing with the biography...

My Teenage Years & Adolescence

At around the age of eleven after entering high school my development accelerated. I did well in most subjects at school even though I didn't do very much work. I often didn't hand in homework and was constantly late in the morning, but probably because I did well in class and in exams, I seemed to get away with a certain amount of indiscipline. I also tended to avoid school quite a lot and enjoyed the extra free time to do what I wanted.

The biggest influences during my teenage years were the home computer revolution and music, especially of the band Talking Heads. I developed a love of computer programming but probably spent a little too much time playing computer games as well. My teenage passion for music led me to take up playing guitar. As the high school years went by my interest in school work continually decreased. This lead to a point at around the age 15 or 16 when the days I attended school became fewer than those when I would avoid the classroom altogether.

I would spend this free time writing computer programs, writing songs and playing guitar either alone or with a band I'd formed. I also enjoyed cycling all around the countryside surrounding Ipswich, being close to nature and thinking about various things. At around this time I became very interested in philosophy. I would spend a lot of time thinking about the purpose of life, who I was and what was the nature of reality. It was at around this time that I developed a certain tendency towards solitude and mental reflection.

Something happened at around the age of 16 which helped to set the course for much of my early adult life. I rented the film Bladerunner from the local video shop and watching it seemed to crystallize a fascination that has seemed to be a part of my life from very early on. This fascination involved the idea of human-like robots and Artificial Intelligence. These were the stuff of 70s and 80s Sci-Fi films, TV series and also the Science Fiction comic books, all of which I can see in retrospect formed a significant part of my childhood. It was this coupled with my near obsession with computers, that gave me a firm and vivid idea of what I was going to do with my life. That is, I became gripped by the thought that the purpose of my life and eventual destiny was to discover the ultimate theory of the brain and mind. In so doing I would give to the world Artificial Intelligence, become rich, famous and all the other things that over ambitious teenagers dream about. My mind was made up, I now had to realize my chosen path.

The rest of my time before leaving home would never be the same after this and a definite course had been set up for the rest of my life. I started to study really hard, on my own initiative, all the books and material relating to the mind and brain sciences that I could get my hands on. As a result of this concentrated study, I thought for the first time what a good idea it would be to go to University in order to help take things further. Also at around this point in my life I was getting really restless and greatly desired to leave home and move away from this small town called Ipswich. So my attendance at school improved slightly, particularly after I was offered a place at University and so had to put in some work in order to make the grade. And so my mind seemed to come alive some more. The rest of my time as an adolescent living with my Parents; was spent preparing for my ultimate goal and also working fairly hard to obtain a place at the University of my choice which luckily, I managed to do by scraping together enough credits in order to get in. This I did in 1988 and London was the place I went for my studies.

Leaving Home & University Years

Leaving home was quite a dramatic experience. I found myself transported from a small quiet town into the heart of busy London. I went to Imperial College, part of London university and initially lived in their halls of residence. So my first entry point into my new life away from home was in the South Kensington and Knightsbridge area. Quite a contrast from my hometown. I remember feeling a bit overwhelmed with London at first but the sense of freedom from being away from home was exciting.

I quickly became disillusioned with the course I was doing which was Computing Science with a high content of artificial intelligence subjects. I discovered that what was known in academia about Artificial Intelligence and the best theories about how the brain worked, were at best primitive or else plain wrong. This caused me to become a bit of a renegade student. I embarked on a course of self study and decided for myself what I would need to know in order to figure out how the brain worked. During my three years at university I hardly ever attended, only showing up for exams and also to chase up course work from some of my fellow students. On many occasions I was summoned to the senior tutor's office and several times threatened with expulsion, but by some miracle I always managed to pass the year and even ended up with a degree, though only a pass ranking. Technically I knew I'd failed so I was very pleasantly surprised that the university decided to give me a degree anyway. It certainly made my Mother very happy.

Excursion to Hong Kong & Australia

After University I stayed in London for a few months but then decided to move to Hong Kong to live for a while. This was a bit of a disaster. I didn't speak the local language and my mind was heavily distracted by thoughts relating to artificial intelligence. And so I ended up in a bit of a rut and it was unclear to me what my next move should be. But then an opportunity came up which at the time seemed like a godsend. I managed to get on the initial phase of the cadet pilot scheme run by the airline Cathay Pacific. This would have led me on to becoming a fully qualified airline pilot in just over a year and a half or so.

So I was sent to Perth, Australia to do basic flying training in single engine light aircraft and things started off really well. However things pretty quickly deteriorated and I knew that this wasn't really what I wanted to do with my life. I was only really attracted to the travel aspect of working for an airline and the idea of seeing the world. I didn't really have the temperament or the necessary aptitude to become a professional pilot, but at the same time I desired the perks and prestige that came with the job. This led to an unhappy state of mind and I felt a bit lost as to what to do next. But something happened on one of my last flights before I returned to Hong Kong. On that flight as I maneuvered the plane on course for landing, there was some dramatic turbulence. This abnormal weather seemed to precipitate within me an altered state of mind. I seemed to leave my body and lose my sense of the world around me. In that state I heard a voice telling me that I was destined for other things, not the life of a professional pilot. Shortly after this incident I was thrown out of the airline's cadet pilot program.

I returned to Hong Kong and feeling a bit of a failure, concentrated totally on my studies into the brain and mind. I spent a total of six months in Hong kong including the time in Australia. Towards the end, in and around Spring time, the weather in Hong kong got extremely wet, humid and hot which drove me slightly insane. So I decided to return to the UK.

The Dark Forest

Back in London again, I tried to look for work but the employment situation at that time was very dire. I settled into a life of living on social security benefit payments and spending most of my time studying and thinking. Out of poverty and lack of options I found myself living in the cheaper and less glamorous areas of London.

Starting in Peckham then moving North to the Harringey area, I found myself living with unemployed people, prostitutes, petty criminals, and those generally on the margins of society. One house I lived in got raided by the police because they spotted a large cannabis plant in the garden. They discovered the shrub when they came looking for a bail jumper who was the brother of one of the other residents; who himself happened to be a professional burglar. It was a strange place to live, but luckily I didn't have much that was worth stealing so I didn't have too many complications.

My life took a further dramatic turn when I took up the offer to live in a squatted house located in Turnpike lane, still in North London. A brother of a school friend of mine was already living there. In retrospect, now I can see that this was a move into a darker and seedier dimension of modern life. A dimension even lower than the strata of society I was at that time already occupying.

After moving into the squat in the Autumn of 1992, I seemed to enter a whole other reality of deviance, subversion and counter culture sentiments. Now I was living with beggars, hard core druggies, assorted musicians and various drop outs. Some of the crowd in the circles I was hanging out in, were called crusties. This was because they never washed and rarely changed their clothing. As a result the dirt would become encrusted onto their clothes, hair and skin. Invariably, the crusties were very heavy heroin users, in fact their lives revolved around the use of this substance. Living downstairs from me was a young lady who got her income from begging. Her Father was in prison for armed robbery and one of her hobbies was injecting amphetamine sulphate. In a way she acted as my guide and teacher in a world about which I was totally naive. I was a fish out of water but now in hindsight the things I learned and saw, have been invaluable in broadening my world view and in advancing my understanding of human nature.

This whole squat scene really was like the underworld or the dark forest and in it I saw a lot of strange and weird things. Here I was, 22 years old, out of college, money spent, see no future, pay no rent. But at the same time I did have my dreams, and they sort of acted as my refuge. A lot of my time was still spent studying and thinking about the brain and mind. I would go off to the local library and find escape in my books, notes and thoughts. Also I played my guitar a lot as well.

During this time I would fall into states of despair, especially during those mid Winter months. This really was a dark night of the soul for me. Sometimes the depression would be so bad that my head would feel like it was burning inside. During these times I would go for very long walks in the middle of the night. It seemed to ease the pain. It was during or shortly after these periods of intense depression that I would experience periods of incredible elation or else at other times, moments of very pleasant tranquility. I wouldn't have called these experiences mystical at the time. I recall thinking that perhaps I was going insane. At these times my entire perception of the world and the sensation of my body would change dramatically. I felt an incredible closeness with the people I saw walking down the street. Even an aeroplane I saw distant in the sky would seem to be somehow part of me. Somehow it felt as if my body was not just contained in my skin but that it also included the bodies of the people around me and even the aeroplane I saw in the sky. In some baffling manner it felt as if everything around me, the buildings, the dogs and cats, other humans beings and all the stars in the sky, were in some mysterious way, all me! However as my mood lifted these strange little states of mind would cease to occur.

Though these experiences puzzled and intrigued me, I was at the same time glad to be out of the black pit, where these experiences were to be had. Some months passed and then my time in the land of squatted accommodation came to a close when somebody developed the paranoid delusion that I was an undercover policeman. It's true I did ask an awful lot of questions, but this was more out of a childish curiosity rather than a desire to gather police intelligence. Also the clothes I wore were a little square. This was because I had very bad dress sense and as a result I did stick out of the crowd a bit. In spite of this, I was accepted by most of the people around me. And those in my immediate circle thought that the idea of me as a police man or police informant, completely ridiculous and stuck by me. However, I did fear a little for my personal safety as anything to do with the police was not entirely loved by the sort of people I was mixing with. So mainly for this reason I decided to move out of the squat and back to a more 'normal' context.

I moved to Archway and lived in a bed and breakfast owned by a lovely Irish landlady. This was a much needed halcyon period of reflection and getting myself together. I started going out with my first girlfriend and had sex for the very first time. Her name was Sara and she was a psychology student. This was probably one of the things that attracted me the most about her. Someone I could talk about the brain and mind with, whilst in bed.

The World of Psychedelic Clubs and Drugs

Around this time, through a friend, I was introduced into the London psychedelic party scene. Initially going to the Megatripolis parties which were organized by the London equivalent of Ken Casey the famous 60s psychedelic promoter. I encountered a very strange land. My life would become entangled with this scene, in an on and off manner and to varying degrees, for the next five years or so. During this time I pursued my studies with some vigor. Also I managed to get hold of a personal computer again and so started thinking heavily about Artificial Intelligence once more. I read a lot of books and did a lot of thinking. This activity was interspersed with my explorations into the world of psychedelic drugs. I would go to psychedelic night clubs and meet all kinds of interesting people. Old hippies from the 60s and early 70s. The kind of people who told stories about dropping acid at Pink floyd and Jimi Hendrix concerts. Also you met new age types and many people who were either current or ex members of the Osho sex cult.

Later on around mid 1995 I would encounter a lot of people in this scene who were very interested in Indian culture and going off to visit India as often as they could. This was at the time when a certain kind of psychedelic music call Goa Trance was making headlines in various fashion magazines. During which time I became heavily involved with helping to organize psychedelic trance parties. Initially helping to set them up or else in promoting them and later on being in charge of booking DJs. I remember I was going out to parties a lot and taking probably too many drugs.

The chemicals I ingested the most were ecstasy and much less frequently LSD and DMT. It was a real odyssey and also very much a road of excess. It also gave me a chance to systematically explore the mystical properties of psychedelic substances to an extent, and gain various insights into the nature of things. But mostly the experiences I had during this period were neither mystical nor mind expanding, but rather more mind numbing and purely hedonistic.

I remember at this point meeting many people who quite openly expressed that they were God or else admitted that they believed they were God only after you got to know them a bit better. I also met quite a few people who seriously thought that they were either the Messiah, the second coming of Christ, or something else along those lines. It was all a bit bewildering and a lot of my life afterwards would be spent making sense of this kind of thing.

My rather decadent existence immersed in a life of substance abuse peaked in the Winter of 1996-1997. It diminished a lot thereafter and came to an abrupt end in the Spring of 1997 when I learned that a close friend had died of a heart attack at the age of 29. This tragic ending was definitely drug related and I remember feeling totally devastated at the time. It really made me think a lot about my own situation. Even before this happened, earlier that same year I really thought that I should be cleaning up my act and I recall that the year started with a lot of productive activity. I restarted my studies still improving my knowledge of the brain and information sciences, but it was around this time that I also started to study religion seriously.

After the death of my friend my life went through some dramatic changes and my focus returned to the long held dream of understanding the brain and creating Artificial Intelligence. There followed an intense period of studying and thinking. I remember getting a lot done at this time. I studied so hard that often I would find it difficult to focus at a distant object, even though I normally have good eye sight. This quite halcyon period of hard work and gainful activity was punctuated by a strange interlude that lasted six months or so.

The World of Psychedelic Trance Music

In the Summer of 1997 I was asked to do some live guitar work for a psychedelic trance band called Cosmosis. This was for a performance in a club called the Fridge in Brixton, London. It was a place I'd go often during my partying phase so it felt strange to return. It felt doubly strange to be there completely straight. Anyway... four months later in early January 1998 the main man in the same band Cosmosis asked me to help him promote a new album and do a world tour with him. It seemed like a gift from Heaven. It felt as if I was being rewarded for my hard work and study. In retrospect the whole thing was a perfect setup and it was all set up in order that I may have several key mystical experiences. These experiences would provide for me valuable pieces of the jigsaw puzzle that I was assembling in my quest to find certain answers. The answers to those questions that so occupied me as a teenager; who am I? why am I here? what is the nature of reality?

Playing guitar with the psychedelic trance outfit Cosmosis was initially very exciting and satisfying. It gave me a chance to travel and meet lots of people. Although on reflection most of what I saw was airports, hotel bedrooms and psychedelic trance parties. All of these are pretty much the same where ever you go. Also most of the people I met were total drug heads, and it was a scene and mindset that I'd already left behind. However all the same I did have a good time and I did enjoy all the social interaction. Also the repeated experience of stepping onto a stage in front of lots of people and performing would give me a head start when I would take up public speaking a few years later. By some interesting coincidence I would see the two other members of the Band that I formed as a teenager, whilst on tour with Cosmosis in two widely separated places in the world. One ex band member was then working in Moscow, Russia and the other in Sydney, Australia. And they both came to the respective concerts as well. It seemed very synchronous and fateful at the time.

It was towards the end of my time touring with the band Cosmosis that two really significant mystical experiences happened to me. The first of which occurred in Byron Bay, Australia and the second in Zurich, Switzerland. In the first experience I was given a radical view of the nature of time and saw powerful images of distant ancestors and previous lives. In the second experience I was given a vision of the cosmic tree. I saw all existence and also myself as a part of a single all encompassing tree. Everything and everyone that exists, has existed, or will exist, I saw as a branch and radiating emanation of this universal tree. But at the same time, although I was a part of the tree, I was also its entirety. I was contained within this tree but the whole of the tree was also contained in me!

These two experiences had a powerful effect on me. I wanted to tell everyone what I had seen, but was frustrated at my inability to articulate in a coherent and meaningful way, the awesome visions that I had experienced. I would rant and force those around me to listen to my insights. This alienated a lot of people and I became a bit of a social outcast. I started to find the interests that most people had, utterly mundane and totally uninteresting. In a very short space of time, my life shifted from being somewhere in the vibrant social center, to somewhere else on the lonely outer fringes. My association with the band Cosmosis came to a naturally conclusion and life headed off towards a new direction. I would somehow find a way to communicate the things that I had seen and experienced to the world at large and to main stream society.

A time of Incubation and Preparation

There followed a period of solitude, study and reflection that lasted several years. I started to feel a growing sense of mission, and decided that I would dedicate an indefinite amount of time to prepare myself for what I had to do. This period of my life which in retrospect might be called an incubation or perhaps a remaking of oneself and lasted around four years. It straddled my late 20s and early 30s. I threw myself totally into my studies.

The early part of this period was lived as something of a total outsider. I didn't speak to people very much and my days were spent reading and thinking. I would read in public libraries a lot and also bookshops, mostly located in central London. Most of my time each day would be spent staring at a book or else writing in my notes. I walked everywhere, perhaps spending around 4 hours each day, walking from place to place. Often during my walks I would be thinking up ways to express to other people the ideas in my mind. Sometimes while walking I would chant meditation mantras in my head or else just listen to my portable music player. It was a very simplified and idealistic existence. I was totally driven by my goals and mostly I felt a certain satisfaction with life because I had a strong sense that I was pursuing my true purpose. However, sometimes I felt intolerably lonely and something of a loser. I didn't have a job or much money and I didn't have a girl friend or any other friends either.

It was during one of these periods of melancholy that I experienced one of the most powerful mystical encounters of my life. It was on the Winter Solstice of 1998. During the days leading up to this point my head was in a terrible state. I was feeling very depressed, my mind seemed disorganized and I was having trouble concentrating. I couldn't think properly and my life seemed to grind to a halt. My thoughts and my dreams became inaccessible to me which deprived me of my only real source of pleasure and meaning in life at that time. My mood spiraled uncontrollably downwards and into oblivion. I felt as if my life had been a total waste. I felt somehow cheated by fate, as if the universe had played a cruel trick on me. It seemed God or the cosmic intelligence had systemically led me toward a certain course in my life, only for me to discover that the path led nowhere. What was this obsession I was gripped by that caused my life to deviate so far from the norm and lead me to such a sorry state? So it was in this state of mind that I decided to demand a sign from the Universe. It was as if I was saying to the Cosmos, 'show me some proof of the validity of the crazy life I'm leading or else I won't play your game anymore'.

So setting off on the morning of the Winter Solstice I went for a very long walk hoping to receive a message of some sort. I walked hours and hours all over London looking for a sign. I looked in the sky, at the people on the streets, all over. Perhaps I'd see a massive shooting star, meet some mysterious mystical person with a message for me, or see some other extra-ordinary sight. But nothing happened. I walked 9 hours and nothing. So at around 8pm, in a state of total disillusionment, I went to sit in Marylebone public library. I really needed to rest my tired legs which were feeling a little numb by now.

Entering the library I felt cold, tired and completely empty. But as I sat down I saw an opened book on the desk next to mine. I saw my name in big bold capital letters beneath a very strange picture. I couldn't believe my eyes and felt sure I was hallucinating, after all I was in a very shakey state. But I looked again and there it was. The book was an encyclopedia of mysticism and the book was open on a page with a picture of the early gnostic christian symbol for God called Abraxas. It was a mans torso with a rooster's head, carrying a whip and a shield, and two snakes for legs. Below this depiction was my name WAI. And a sentence printed beneath read 'Gnostic adherents believe that religious belief should be based on experiential self knowledge and not on inherited dogma'. On seeing this I was filled with an immense and intense internal laughter. It was as if my entire life had been some sort of huge joke and I'd just been supplied with the punch line. This feeling grew into a intense feeling of happiness and warmth. Also it felt powerfully sexual in a strange and magnified kind of way. Then I felt being turned inside out, I lost my sense of the world and my body... I became God... words cannot describe where I was or what I was at this stage. It was something totally outside the realm of space, time and matter. It was infinity and also eternity. Quite simply it was or I was God.

Eternity passed and eventually God became man again. And the man Wai, was shown a vision. What I saw was a vision of the passage of the transmigration of the indivisible and undivided soul of the one ultimate God weaving through all the life forms of the Universe. The God that was me and everybody else. This vision and experience so invigorated me. I was feeling utterly alone, but now felt that the entire universe was with me. I was feeling that my life had totally lost its meaning but now my sense of mission had been restored. The days following this experience were filled with a wonderful afterglow. I couldn't stop smiling. I felt my life was back on track. The start of following year was filled with a renewed sense of purpose.

Prophesies and Messianic expectations

The year 1999 in my life was one of the most interesting and strange ones. It started off productively and smoothly, and I was working steadily toward my goals. Then in mid February something unexpected happened. I met a young French woman named Stephanie. It was quite by chance and we had a brief and intense relationship. It felt great, and gradually by stages as I got to know her better, I was falling in love with her. I don't know if I was yearning for a partner or a mother substitute but it didn't really matter. It soon dawned on me that I really wanted her. Then she dumped me. I'm still not sure what happened. I think perhaps my sense of purpose and the strength of my convictions, gave me an attractive presence; but my lack of a job, money or status in society worked against me. I really don't know. Also the details of what my life was all about and my goals, probably gave most people the strong impression that I was totally insane.

So I spent most of 1999 with a broken heart. It felt horrible and I had never experienced it so severely before. But despite this troubling pain or perhaps as a direct result of it, I managed to have probably the most creative year of my life. I worked like crazy and my head really came alive. Also something really interesting happened. Over the years I had formulated many ideas and concepts in order to understand and explain how the brain and mind worked. Now over the course of the Summer, all these ideas started to connect with the mystical visions that I had seen. Two separate worlds in my mind, the mystical and spiritual versus the world of Brain Science and artificial Intelligence, started to converge and join seamlessly with each other. It was an awesome feeling to experience what seemed like a cosmic revelation unfolding in my mind. I had a tremendous feeling of destiny. It felt as if my life had been a process of integrating the myriad fractured pieces of some vast puzzle. I had been assembling the smaller pieces to make larger pieces, and then in turn assembling these pieces to make even larger ones and so on. Now it seemed that two very large and integrated pieces of the puzzle that I had pieced together over the years were coming together and interlocking perfectly. I was seeing truths that had never before been apprehended. It felt good.

A lot of my time at this point in my life was therefore taken up by intellectual pursuit. Apart from that, 1999 was the year that Millennial fever gripped me. I felt sure something significant, life changing and perhaps even a little apocalyptic would happen before the year was out. The Nostradamus prophecy came and went without incident. Then the much anticipated total eclipse of the Sun came and still nothing happened. I remember feeling very disappointed at both non events. But then in September of the same year, a series of synchronicities or mysterious coincidences occurred that led me to go to church. It happened like this.

One day I was walking to go and have dinner with a friend, I knew from my school days, at his house. When I came to the beginning of his street I noticed a poster advertising the 'Alpha course'. This is a Christian revival movement whose aim it is to boost flagging attendance in British and commonwealth churches. As I chatted with my friend over dinner, he mentioned that his brother was now working in a church which was the head quarters of the 'Alpha course'. As he went on to describe where this church was, It occurred to me that I knew this place. Quite by chance it happened to be a church that was right near where I first lived when I came to London, literally about 10 seconds walking distance. The church was the Holy Trinity Brompton in Knightsbridge. I would often visit some nearby shops that opened 24 hours a day, in the early hours of the morning. On the return journey, weather permitting, I would sit in the church yard of the said building, which was between where I lived and the shops. As I sat I would proceed to eat the snacks that I'd recently purchased and think about life, often thinking about the more interesting philosophical questions and sometimes about God. At this point in the conversation I knew that I had to find out what these coincidences meant. So together we enrolled on the 'Alpha course', and for the first time since leaving primary school as an infant, I went into a church.

This visit to the church, which was the epicentre of the Christian revival in the UK to do its alpha course, started with a long queue. It certainly attracted considerable interest. This was followed by food. The people were nice and very friendly, but at the same time it didn't seem natural somehow. I found the people there likable but I didn't really connect with most of the people there. After eating everybody sat for the sermon and the singing of hymns. I found the modern hymns being sung a little cheesy and uncool, so found it difficult to participate. At some point I started to feel a little queasy and agitated. I thought it was something to do with the food, an allergic reaction or something.

A little time past then I felt dizzy and disorientated but tried not to let it show. Then sounds, the singing and surroundings seemed to swell up and engulf me, I felt a terrific surge of adrenaline and my heart was beating fast. Then I went into a borderline mystical state and everything became transformed. Things took on a strange cartoon or doll-like character. Time seemed to slow down and the singing became unintelligible as if everyone was singing in some exotic Eastern European language. My whole perception of the church changed. It became like the inside of a ship or ark. And this ship was no longer planted on the ground in Knightsbridge London, but was instead hurtling through some strange ocean of hyperspace. And then I could sense that all around were the presence of strange monsters or demons. Anyway, it felt as if the church or the ship that it had now become, was surrounded by something dark and evil. I gazed at the people around me and I saw them in a completely new light. I saw their angst, their sadness and their fear. I felt a deep compassion for them. I recall vividly that my Mother and Father came to mind and this was accompanied by an intense feeling of love. These feelings of affinity and empathy were not very common place during that point of my life, which was lived almost completely detached from the life and the world of most people. The whole experience was a flood tide of an intense mix of emotions. It lasted about 10 or 15 minutes and probably not more than 20. When I came to I became a bit distant and was a little disorientated.

For the rest of the time in the church my behavior probably seemed strange to the people I interacted with. The evening came to a close and I proceed to walk a while with my friend. Together we cut across Hyde park and while I walked my body felt different. My step felt more springy. I started having intense religious thoughts. I said goodbye to my friend at Marble Arch tube station and then feeling energetic I decided to walk all the way to Primrose hill to have a think.

While I gazed out over London on the top of Primrose hill a strange sensation came over me again, a sort of afterglow of my earlier state of mind. I felt as if the thoughts that I was thinking were not my thoughts. And that the ideas that I was entertaining were not my ideas. I was receiving messages from the universe. And the overall message was telling me that my duty and purpose was ultimately bound up with the world of established religion. This was something new to me. Up to this point I thought my purpose was to communicate the things I'd experienced to people much like myself. I imagined that my future audience would have consisted of New Age types, the Psychedelic Crowd, Cyberpunks, Neo-Pagans and assorted Liberal Intelligentsia. But now I was being directed toward a world I had no experience of and little affinity for. This was the world of organized religion, sects and cults. It was a whole scene that I had long considered corrupted and spiritually bankrupt. There seemed to me an incompatibility between what I was doing and what existing religion was all about. How can you possibly communicate to a Fundamentalist Christian or Muslim say, that he or she is God? I felt it was an impossible goal, and didn't feel up to the task. I reflected on this matter a while, standing there on the top of Primrose hill, gazing over London.

Then gradually I became gripped by an insane resolve. I thought about the events and experiences in my life leading up to this point and it started to seem really clear that everything that had ever happened in my life was preparing me to do just this. I saw that stage by stage, my entire life had been set up to enable me communicate certain truths. These were truths about God, who we were, what was happening in the world and what was the nature of reality. I also saw more clearly on that night how the theory of the brain that I had spent the better part of my life working on, was a key and stepping stone to achieving those aims. I saw my purpose in life crystallize in my mind's eyes. My destiny would be to show the wider world how it is that everyone's real identity is God, and also to make people aware that the prophesies in all the worlds religions were unfolding in present times. It definitely felt like an awakening. It seemed I had passed over a threshold. From that night on my consciousness was changed, subtly but distinctly. I became transformed from a lost soul to a lost soul with a well defined mission. It was one of the most life changing episodes of my life.

From then on much of my life would become a process of obtaining the skills and resources needed to communicate the idea that everyone is God and that the prophesies were happening now. This included learning web design skills, becoming able to produce well formed written material relating to my message and also acquiring public speaking skills.

Coming back into the normal World

We come now to the more recent times in my life. Those from the year 2000 up to the present. A lot of time in the first few years of the millennia have been spent learning about religion first hand. To complement my book learning I devoted a lot of time to visiting various religious buildings and many religious cults, located and based in London. I have met a lot of religious and culty people in order to discuss their beliefs and get to know what sort of people believed what. In other words to get into the mind of the religious believer and see things from the inside. These meetings would often degenerate into a debate when I expressed my own religious views. These discussions and meetings really aided my study of religion. The religion or cult that I was investigating at any one time would focus my studies around relevant material and really helped to integrate all the facts in my head in a meaningful way.

In February of 2002 I started public speaking and presenting my ideas to a wider audience. In my first talk I spoke to over 20 people. I've done 26 talks now at the time of editing this section (August/2006). The largest audience I've spoken to consisted of around 90 people. I have presented my ideas to a rich diversity of people. Also I have done over a dozen sessions at speakers corner in Hyde park. These small beginnings in public speaking have been rewarding and I am encouraged by my progress and the positive feedback I have received. Also through public speaking I have discovered that many people have had similar experiences to myself and also share my views. This has been a very heartening experience which has inspired and motivated my efforts.

Where else has my time gone these past few years?... As has been a relatively constant feature of my life from my late teens onwards, I have continued to devote a lot of energy towards the brain theory and artificial intelligence project. I'm at the stage now where I believe I have a unified theory which is able to encapsulate all that I have learned about the brain and mind. The work I'm doing now involves developing a formalism or mathematical language to succinctly express my concepts. This process will also lead to computer programs which will validate my ideas. I have already introduced some aspects of my brain theory in my public talks and this has been well received. I have at the same time been showing the deep intrinsic relationships between my brain theory and mystical/religious ideas. My hope is that the brain theory will eventually give me a platform to help me promote the mystical and spiritual material.

Currently I'm working in a Church, St James Piccadilly, in order to facilitate my religious studies and to help finance my mission. My focus now is to set up a website and populate it with the material that I've already presented in my public talks. Also starting this year 2006, I've got down to writing my book which I hope to finish sometime in 2008. The adventure continues, my life story is still very much in the making...